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I am a very spiritual person by nature. However, religion is, to me, a transient thing. A set of rules to follow that change as you go from faith system to faith system. Each declares themselves the way, each sounds like the others after a while. I am sure I have just horrified everyone who considers themselves to be deeply religious, but if you are, then you will not judge. That's the hardest thing to do. Not judge those unlike you.
Once a colleague in Florida stated that he did not have to worry about being judgemental about homosexuality. "God already done judged em. So I can shoot em if I want." Beyond Hurricane Opal, a rather insane landlady who made me look positively glowing with good mental health and the Palmetto Bug we named because he appeared in the house nightly and we could have leashed him, we moved north. There are people in parts of the world it is dangerous for me to be around. My husband is well known for his, Rachel Maddow crush, broad sweeping statements about all conservatives being _______________, I am not. I am a liberal, but liberal enough to know I know little and while I do enjoy a good Rachel every now and then, I often find her a bit like a liberal Ann Coulter. Sure, she has a point, but it's stated in a gleeful way that makes my skin crawl. Because someone is against what you believe to be a fundamental truth, does not make them wrong and you pious. I am tired of the far anything and their opinions. Can't we go back to the middle ground where most people lie? Can it truly be a man of the middle who has a strong viewpoint not be elected President? A die hard Dem, I would seriously consider Chris Christie for office, if he should run.
I think my mother just rolled over in her grave. Face it, you've gotta give points to a man who had the tenacity to put the needs of the people of his state ahead of the party line. Any party.
Politics aside, I often listen to books about spiritual revelation in all forms and all faith systems. I have been a student of people since I was young and why someone joins a church, faith, leaves, how they reason, means a lot to me. Even if it is not how I would reason.
Last week was a bad one. A public panic attack followed by being told that you were too mentally fragile to leave the house, your worst fear, is not comforting. It makes you reevaluate your life and were you stand. So, with great trepidation I purchased the e-book of, "Does This Church Make Me Look Fat?" by Rhoda Janzen. A woman who lives close to where I grew up. A Bible belt of strict values, involving a world of, "Come on down and sell in our lovely multi-tired sales program that owns Grand Rapids," and black and white values. You are for them, or against them. Aside from my rather big mouth and tendency to cry when teased (I am not going to count the summer I never bathed. To this day I believe my daily life swimming in Lake Michigan was divine for a 13 year old girl and if I smelled of dead alewives, all the better to humiliate my sister). I was a very good victim and standing up for myself involved a series of beat downs both verbal and physical and Mike Kelley, who is now a teacher, lighting my hair on fire on the bus. Poor Frannie, our driver. She was a staple in my life and yelled at me for being so stupid as to not rat out Mike. Pardon me Frannie, but he was among the head of the schools ruling class and in my mind, one did not mess with him. It is with laughter I look back on a party I attended at 22 wherein the same young man, now an adult, hugged me and told me he missed me. I suspect he had been drinking. I am fairly confident he does not think of me and I rarely of him, except to wish him well. Yes, he is forgiven for torching my hair that day. It was damp and I was without hairspray. Another day would have been horrible, but that day I was running late.
Holland, MI is the Mecca for all reformed Christians. It is a place of beauty and more churches per capita than any other city in the US. Okay, that statistic was true in the 80's and may no longer hold weight, but it comforts me to know there is a rather rigid crowd still about. Rigid and yet not pushy. They are not pushing into the world with a gung ho, become one of us attitude. One must be born or married to truly become one of them and then, "if you ain't Dutch, you ain't much," is the cry.
I have been taught to love and be slightly afraid of the close knit religious community I was raised in. As with all of the world, there are good points and bad. I was not Dutch. I was not an attendee of the, "Correct church." Me as me, was an outsider and that made me feel a bit rebellious and wild. In actuality, I was pretty tame, but one could only be so wild with my group and even in my group, the truly wild did not incorporate me into their missions of misadventure. Remember the big mouth.
So here I sat, worst thing ever having happened to me. Me confused, worst thing bad, not the horror I'd been dreading for so long. Sure, it sucked, but I lived through it and the people that didn't like me before still didn't like me. Most are ambivalent and some are friends. I hold no ill will towards anyone who misconstrued what happened. Some people don't get that a first time public panic attack does not a nutball make. I am rather crazed, even when normal. Although my tendency to fill any silence with talk drives me as nuts as everyone else.
So, with as open a mind as I could muster, I listened to a book about a woman who has very different values than I, tell about a fight with cancer, her relationship to God and her new husband. I thought I would be bugged. I didn't want preaching, but maybe I was looking for some answers. I cannot say I found them, but the book has made me think. This is one woman's journey. It is not telling everyone to take that journey too, nor is she espousing the perfection in her life because of Jesus. Yes, faith is mentioned many times and is the undercurrent of the book, but she seems partial to my favorite quote from the King James Bible, "Jesus said, Love the Lord thy God with all thy heart and all thy mind, and the second is like unto it, thy shalt love thy neighbors as thyself. On these two commandments hang all the laws and the prophets."
Easy, peasy lemon squeezy. Love God, love yourself (not LOVE but honor and respect yourself) and love one another. Really, why did I ever bother to remember the ten commandments? It's all there. Every faith system and world view has it. Don't hurt anyone. End of story. Not your God, your friends, your enemies, you. Every word of the Bible can be summed up in those words. At least to me. I don't need the rest. I'm not sure what I am, but I am sure I believe those words to be the truth and uttered by Jesus. I've spent a great deal of time in religious studies. I'm fascinated by them.
So, here was this book. I expected it to be very religious. No. It is very spiritual but hysterical. This woman's take on life is so light, energized and full of love. Not in a preachy way. I want to take her to an ice cream place, a tea house and pick her brain. Listen for hours. I don't do that well, so wanting to is very funny to me. I sat, knit and listened as the voice perfectly matched what I heard as the words were read.. Bad attempts to copy her husband's voice and all. I don't know if the author read this, or an actor who is amazing. I could look, but I'd \be disappointed either way. The essence of this book is perfect. I don't want to place anything into it, other than as it was presented to me. It made me come down from a liberal high horse and do some more thinking about why others felt so strongly and different, but no less committed than I feel. It was refreshing, warm and inviting.
The author has cancer. I will go no further, It is not about survial and if she does, or does not is unimportant. She lives hard while she is in treatment and feels like crap. It's a very real look into the world of someone that I cannot imagine. A new relationship, cancer, loving parents. I don't know what else to say. The story is the journey. The outcome both expected and surprising is not important. You hang on the words of the journey.
I don't care who you are, what deity you worship, you will not be offended, unless you allow yourself to be. She has no apparent agenda other than her life and what happens. It's told in an honest way and it's a treasure to have in my audio library. If you are not of her faith, this book will not anger you. It only points out a human journey to finding peace. God is important, but this is a timeless story that could easily be told by anyone of faith. The faith is not as important as the journey. I was not bothered, nor do I feel like a traitor to my faith, which is always forming, by reading this book. I find spirit in many places expected and unexpected and she does as well. Her forgiving heart and love for her boyfriend, family and gifts is apparent, and full of amusing anecdotes that had me spitting onto my screen. Glad I'm only drinking water now.
Do I give this book, Does This Church Make Me Look Fat?, two thumbs up? It should be apparent in the review. However, I would suggest anyone who has struggled with faith, walked away from it, returned, or not read it. This book speaks universal truths I found refreshing and that can be used in any world view. It's a testament to life. Her life. It transcends the walls she prays in. It questions women's roles in a way that is not denouncing the past, merely wondering. It is thoughtful, not PC to the point of silly and not meant to have you romp on down to her church and join up. It encourages faith, but not any one. What an amazing journey and timeless message. The label of faith falls away and spirit shines.
We are energy, neither created nor destroyed, merely changed. This is how I see the life after this one. She did not make me feel anything, but gratitude for the chance to be alive and love my life.
Well done, Rhoda,. Very well done indeed.
Does This Church Make me Look Fat, by Rhoda Janzen. Available in audio form, and on Amazon, etc. http://www.amazon.com/Does-This-Church-Make-ebook/dp/B0076BQEFG/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1369847578&sr=8-1&keywords=does+this+church+make+me+look+fat
That is the Kindle link, but I am sure it leads to real paper links and the audio link. I checked, but have been known to be wrong.
Thank you for allowing me to share my thoughts with you.
Nancy
